среда, 15 июня 2011 г.

the real life

i met her in some social web site.
she was perfect for me. i thought so then . i say "was" 'cause she "was" for me. she's alive, but now all the card put on the table.

it was random meeting. i only just broke up with my girlfriend. i don't know how i began to play at this fucking game. how could i know that is the game?
first it was flirtation. it was like "hey, how are you?" and then "hey, dear","hey cute". i didn't remember who began that game of words and i didn't remember how i lost my head. i couldn't sleep, eat and think nothing about besides her. i decided that i need someone. i'll never know what she thought, what she felt. i woke up with the one thoughts "oh! she wrote me! she wrote me. i feel happiness. the one good day again!"

i ran down to work, switched on my computer and answered her: "dear ****! i miss you! how are you?" <how fucking are you???>
when she was silent i'm going crazy. i didn't knew what i have to do. i saw pages her friends, and once i wanted to write them and ask "where is she?" but i didn't it silliness.
i believed to this fatally mistake. but it was beautiful time for my heart. i had the aim to see her. but i didn't notice when her answers become to come to me much less. fool!

one day i went to airport and took the tickets. i was happy. i came home. want to say her "i bought the tickets! yeah! soon i'll be there!" hah! and what do you think? 3 month silence.

i came in a foreign city, in a foreign country and was alone. my walking by streets was full of thoughts "why i did this? why? someone tell me!" i looked around i saw nice people, nice place and searching her face.

we met once. drank some beer. spoke about life. about her life. and not over. nothing. i understood - i was stupid full fool! but i felt myself a bit better. my aim was reached. but my heart and soul weren't quite.

anyway it was great adventure. i'm older 10 years. was broken and didn't see reason for my life.

but now i write this short story it mean i'm still alive!

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